*this is insano long & involved & a bunch of mummy drama that i'm certain no one wants to read but i needed to document & hopefully get a little advice*
oh how we adore this little one.
she is mellow & mild & sweet & coy & smiley & quiet as can be.
she'll also throw in some wide-eyed yelling, flirting, & hilarious dance bops to spice it up.
her facial expressions could seriously entertain the masses. PRICELESS.
cossette is quite hard to describe.
everyone, including chief & the doctor, thinks i'm too worried. she is a second child. ellery was behind for a bit before she was where she is now. where everyone who talks with her thinks she's 4 or 5. but it's not about comparing. i know everyone develops at their own pace but cossette is 15 months old & does
not talk. some days she doesn't even babble, though those are getting fewer. just silently smiles & gets into things & goes along her merry way.
her comprehension is high. better than almost all her age. she'll follow 3 & 4 step instructions. she sits down & read books with me constantly. i have not worried about her intelligence for a single second. i talk all day long (not hard to believe, i know), i repeat words over & over to her, i show visuals about what word that describes, i don't think i baby her, i go over each sound & rewards the slightest letter sounds with recognition & praise. chief is phenomenal at reminding me that she is getting more ideas & tactics & exercises from me because of my education in early childhood development. but i'm really best prepared for preschool through 6th grade, NOT mute babies!
she has no-zip-nilch-nada-niet interest in speaking to us!
it's driving me crazy!! she says mama, dada, hi & that's only when she feels like it.
my MIL had similar concerns with her own (if not more intense) & it has made things infinitely better to hear it from her to not stress out about it. she has brilliant kids. she even suggested teaching coke some sign language for my own sanity. i usually have just the slightest little silent eye roll to parents that go that route because by the time your kid learns all those signs he should be talking anyway. & kids can get their point across in so many other ways. she waves, she nods, she shakes her head. i get it. she brings me a book & climbs in my lap. i get it. she goes to the pantry & knocks on the door. i get it. she gets her shoes & goes to the front door. i get it. brings me her empty cup of water. i get it. screaming in her high chair in between bites. i get it but seriously? clamp it kid!!
so i've only really taught her 'more' but it has been amazing. calmer for her and calmer for us. she's also learning the different between a head nod & shake which is infinitely more helpful. less hectic all around.
austin is totally convinced she just doesn't have the need to use actual words. & he himself lands on the quiet side but that's only outside of our house. she doesn't seem frustrated to communicate. which makes me think i need to make it harder for her by pretending i don't understand what she means by her obvious body language. but then she just hollers & gets so upset & looks at you like 'why are you torturing me so?' & the frustration doesn't seem to push or motivate or get anything into motion. it just breaks her little heart so then i feel so terrible & cruel & sad that i stop & give her what i know she needs.
maybe i'm not being patient enough but is that really the solution in her best interest? i'm 100% to let my kids cry it out because i fully believe it's what they need to be their best. i'll battle it out at every meal if that means they eat like champs because i fully believe it's what they need. but i have no belief behind sitting there shrugging my shoulders til she spits out her first word in the distress & agony of feeling misunderstood & ignored. she is such a tender thing & if this whole thing is just kathryn concerns & not valid or factual concerns then i'm out.
i'm a wreck about it though. are we doing everything we can for her? but what more can i do??!! should i just leave the poor girl alone? sit patiently? make it harder for her? get a second opinion? :(
8 comments:
Oh, Kat, if you've heard her utter mama, dada and hi, then you know she's not mute. Perhaps she knows how badly you want her to speak and she's just holding out for some big surprise. If she's seeming healthy, alert and attentive in all other respects, maybe just take a deep breath and say to yourself, 'patience, my self, patience'.
As for rolling your eyes, teaching her sign language is not all that bad an idea. My daughter started teaching E really early, like 3-4 months, and it sure cut down on a lot of frustration. And now he has a huge vocal and won't stop talking even if you want him too... Grandlittle #2, didn't speak until he was almost 2 --- too busy just watching E and taking it all in. NOW, he too is a non-stop talker.
Love ya. She's adorable and maybe you should just enjoy the peace and quiet for a bit longer... LOL
I totally could have written this post last year! I was concerned about Isabelle for awhile.. She would say mama and milk and thats basically it. I even had her evaluated by a speech therapist because I was like OMG SHES NOT TALKING. Turns out she was just on her own little schedule, and now she is a chatterbox.
We did teach her like five signs. More, milk, all done, please... she did great with those but I never felt the need to teach her more because, like you, I could understand what she wanted/needed.
I felt like I was doing everything I could for her. Talking and narrating everything, reading her stories, so I finally just quit worrying and let her be herself.
first of all I have to say that these pictures of her are insanely cute- she is getting so big i cannot believe it. I really love the one of her on the slide. WOW.
I have to be honest- when I first read this I was like, "but coco's still so young!" I mean if she was 2 or 3 (cough, Derek, Cough) it would be understandable to start freaking out a little bit, but I totally understand how it feels to be in the situation as the mom and other people are like, "why are you making a mountain out of a molehill here: it's no big deal." But hey, you are the one who lives with your kids all day and you know what is best for them, better than anyone else.
I'm definitely no early child development expert but I'd have to say I wholeheartedly agree with "anitamombanita" whoever that is: that it's good to remember that she is happy, healthy, and smart, and those are the most important things right now. I really think everyone does things at their own pace and when they are ready, they're just ready. I totally get how it's hard to know when to push things and when not to, though. But my gut feeling here is that she's not being naughty by not talking, so it's not really one of those situations where you should guilt her, or punish her or let her cry it out. she's just not ready. I guess. That's just my opinion though.
The sign language thing made me laugh because I was the exact same way. Before we had jack we worked in the nursery and some of the kids would sign things to me, and Derek and I would just make snide comments. But teaching jack please and thankyou in sign language has been THE BEST! He feels proud of himself for communicating and we know that he is eager to learn, even if he's not ready to say the words quite yet.
This is a very long comment. This is all just my opinion so take it for what it's worth. I think you are a wonderful mom and it sounds like you have covered all your bases as far as encouraging her to talk, so maybe it's time to just step back a little and let her figure it out. just remember that your kids have their own little spirits and, though I heartily concur that discipline is important, it is also important to give them room to develop their individuality. :) I bet in 20 years when cossette is getting her masters in astrophysics or something you will all look back on this and laugh! love ya! Good luck with the little mute munchkin and wish us luck with ours. :)
i am thoroughly embarrassed by how long that comment is. I'm sorry. :/
I will quietly evaluate her ..... tomorrow. WooHoo!
Honestly though the Hill boys seem to have gotten it all figured out and her other DDST's are right on or high, so I think you should worry less on this one.
Love the previous comments.
I was a mother freaking out about this same issue with my oldest who is now 4. He said about 10 words with a lot of baby talk until he was 3! Yes 3-no sentences, only babble and a real word here and there. He even started Primary as a sunbeam with only 25-30 words. (Thank goodness he wasn't asked to say a talk until later in the year, because it really wouldn't have happened!) At 3 years 3 months, after hearing tests, doctor visits, worried parents, Doctor saying he is behind, ect (and BTW Nothing helped! making it harder for him just made more stress and I think made it worse.) he woke up and started speaking full sentences and the next day paragraphs! And basically hasn't stopped talking since! It was crazy how fast the switch just turned on! Looking back I worried about it way too much! We knew he could hear, we knew he was smart (reading books we would ask him to point to numbers and letters and he always knew them, but wouldn't say them), but we still did what the Dr. said, BUT sometimes kids just have to be ready and unfortunately we have to sit and wait for them to be ready! My second boy, now 18 month old, seems to be following after his brother with no words yet, and this time around I am not going to all the dr. appointments or stressing. We know he is smart. Keep reading books and with her and when these little ones are ready they will talk! We hope it won’t take Spencer until he is 3, but we will find out and enjoy him while we wait! :) I know it is hard to wait, but TRY not to worry (yeah right, I know)! -The Manwaring's
From someone who sits in speech therapy four days a week and has a lot of it in our future here is what I have observed. Sure carter is ther for feeding but once he gets his trach out we will be there for a long time with speech. I am always listening to all the therapist and speaking to ours about tips for the future. Hers at a couple and feel free to call anytime I have a list of them. They usually start with signing. Even though she understands you well she will lOve the satisfaction of communicating herself. They also do a word of the week. You pick a word like ball or whatever and do activities and books and whatever you can to talk about the word. Say it as much as you can in normal dialogue and encourage her to say it. If you go the whole week an she doesn't say it no worries. Choose a new word the next and then go back to ball the next week. Eventually she will pick up on the word and also things the go with it such as roll, bounce, throw you get the idea. Its just a way to be repetitive without making It so structural. Like I said call or email me I you have questions or want to know more. I have lots of notes and can ask our therapist questions too. Good luck.
I feel your concern---#1 for me was the same way. He did babble quite a bit but not at 15 months, I mean at like 2 years old. I asked my doc at each visit and he never seemed concerned. His POV was that even if he did have issues, it is VERY challenging to have therapy be effective (i.e. getting them to sit down, focus and actually digest what the speech therapist is saying). He said all kids are on different tracks.
I was still very concerned at 2 years old and my doc said...wait, just wait till 2.5 and see where he is then. If he is making progress then he is fine and just like your friend above...seriously, night and day in those few months. He now can't stop talking at all and never does. I can't even explain what "silence" or "whispering" is.
My nephew did have a speech issue (now 7 years old) and after talking with her last Christmas when I was worried about G. She said she had her son tested at 2 years old because he was literally saying NOTHING. He would just point and grunt. No babbling, no words, no nothing, and her doctor was then concerned. He was approved for some in home therapy.
As always, my opinion means nothing...but 15 months to me seems VERY young to be saying lots of things (maybe that's just cuz of G) BUT...she is your kid, you're the mom. Follow your instincts. Having her tested is your choice and may give you some answers and give you peace of mind. I hope it all goes well! You'll do the right thing!
Good luck with it all...she is adorable and I just LOVE all her faces!
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